


hell’s calling my name

by Procellariidae



Category: Haikyuu!!, Rick and Morty
Genre: Gen, omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 22:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11587875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Procellariidae/pseuds/Procellariidae
Summary: i’m going so much to hell from this i don’t even-OROikawa appears in Rick& Morty Universe, ready to fight against the aliens and save the world. -ish.





	hell’s calling my name

**Author's Note:**

> wtf?

He appears suddenly. He isn’t there one second, and the next he is.

Everything’s wrong. The colors, the forms, the eyes. Oh, the eyes. He notices the two people standing in front of him then. Their eyes. What’s wrong with those eyes? They’re no green nor blue nor black. They’re—they’re scribbled. Scribbled. As in, that thing you do when you want to cross out something you wrote wrong or that thing that Mattsun swears is _his_ calligraphy. That kind of scribbled. Wrong.

‘Oh my god. Oh my god,’ says the girl, who probably is his age. Or isn’t. ‘He looks just like one of those gay shows you say you don’t like!’ She’s speaking (yelling, to be honest) in English, and Oikawa would be surprised that he understands it at all if it weren’t the most normal thing that has happened to him so far.

‘Summer! We’ve already talked about this! I was looking for _normal_ porn. I don’t know how I ended there!’ The other voice belongs to a little thing, probably a boy by the tone of his voice, but he isn’t sure about anything anymore.

‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever,’ she dismisses him. She stares at him for the first time. ‘OH MY GOD —doesn’t she know any other expression? —. He’s SO PASTEL I wanna die. Are you sure he can help us?’

‘Of course he can! Rick’s never wrong, you know.’

‘You’re right, there’. She keeps staring at her. The scribbles in her eyes change with every passing second.  He’s so scare-wait. He isn’t. He feels calm, even though he doesn’t know why, can’t understand why he would be. It’s probably because he’s a two-dimension fictional character being written by someone who definitely has better things to do, but you know. Who can be sure about anything these days? Not him, for sure.

‘So.’ The boy’s voice is high and cracking, puberty having a good time with it. Oikawa feels a sting of pity. ‘Do you know something about _arienkuns_?

Oh. From all the things he does expects, that question isn’t one of them.

‘Of course’ He answers naturally in English even if it’s always been his worst subject, his accent flawless because I say so. ‘I invented them, after all.’

* * *

The tea smells weird and the physics do something funny with it when Summer pours the hot water into the cup, but the flavour is pretty good. That’s something. Summer and Morty start filling him up while he struggles with the teaspoon. Their hands are drawn so different from his (so much worse) that it’s difficult to grave it, let alone handle it.

 _Arienkuns_ —Alien-kun, you really can’t expect him to master English when he was just five years old— appeared in the span of one night some days ago. They brought chaos and destruction, and Tōru feels a little proud that his creations are so strong and so good at what he designed them for. It’s a harsh thing to say, but you know. Who doesn’t want to hear that the monster you created after you read a comic at five has become the bane of all the known universe? This one, at least. There is this thing about multiverses that Morty has started to explain but he isn’t very good at it.

He’s finally gotten to sweeten his tea, yeah! Fuck you, different drawing styles.

Summer shows him an online video from some weird platform called Youtube. The _arienkuns_ attack the Japan of this world, their laser beans reducing the tower of Tokyo to ashes in just seconds. He sighs, although it sounds more like a moan.  Neither Summer nor Morty seems shocked about, but after the little things of information he’s heard about Rick it makes sense.

Rick, that weird dude responsible of him being here. From what Summer says, the things went like this: After his little boys —monsters, I mean monsters— appeared and started this whole thing about devastating the whole universe, Rick gave them some device with a note that said ‘ _it will bring something that will help’._ He then disappeared to do whatever things Ricks do and that I’m in no position to know.

‘And that was it,’ Summer finishes. In the video, the _arienkuns_ pass from incinerating the buildings to doing it with the people (the incineration, ugh. What have you think about?). The Japanese reporter converts to ashes in front of his eyes. His are weird, pointed and upwards. He would feel better if it didn’t feel as watching the anime he used to when he was younger.

‘Sooooo,’ Morty says. Does his voice sound always so irritating? ‘Do you know then how can we defeat them?’

Tōru blushes. It’s kinda comic, because he gets the blush from Rick & Morty’s drawing style and it doesn’t suit well with his colours nor his features, but it serves his purposes. He answers slowly, and both Summer and Morty has to ask him to repeat it again. He does.

Summer speaks —again, yells— first.

‘Why is every man always SO obsessed with buttholes?!’

‘I was five! I thought it was funny! What did you want me to do?!’

‘OH MY GOD, already a pervert at five! What kind of cartoons do you came from?’

‘Summer! Stop prejudging!’

And it goes on and on and on, as Céline’s heart. It takes them half an hour to stop arguing, and then another hour more to come up with a plan.

 In all the time they spend arguing nonsense, _arienkuns_ destroy Vulcan (which leads to another star trek reboot)  and Coruscant (which kills Jar Jar and leads to nothing). They leave intact B-612 though, where a starman drinks tea with a little prince while a sheep may or may have not eat a rose. They do not have the heart —or the _arienkun_ equivalent.

‘Then it’s all settled?’ Morty and Tōru nod, the fierce gaze that usually comes with fragile masculinity. ‘So let’s move. Everybody knows what to do.’

But I don’t, not for now at least, so this is a good point to stop writing.

Until the next chapter! -ish.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me @ http://procellariidae.tumblr.com/


End file.
